~对不起~ - 难过的

除了，对不起，我能说的也只有“对不起”！
我真的很想“放弃”了！
你也累了，我也一样！
我知道你也很努力的付出。 。 。
我没怪你！问题是在于我，不是你！
我真的需要“时间”好好的让我自己休息！
当我放手了，不要觉得我不再是“Calvin”了，
我这是很累了，想停下脚步。。。。
对不起！

我还是会难过还有心痛的！因为，我在乎！
不过，这是我必须要学习的。。。
懂得的放开才是让你我都快乐！

对不起！

~跟你说。。。~ - 累了

跟你说。 。 。

我真的 “很在乎”

我也真的 “很心痛”

我也会 “难过”

但我真的 “无力了 "

因为, 我 "真的很累" 。。。

~More than Exhausted~ - Heartbroken

Seems to be no longer "Strong" Calvin here

He's now more than

EXHAUSTED
HEARTBROKEN
WEAK

The previous "ME" had gone very far ....
not far from God
but far from people
yet, I still faithful to believe in Him
for all things and all matters

Sometimes, it is better not to be known of many things rather than to be known of everything because it will hurts you even greater! Yet, it seems not a matter if you see it in a way that you're right according your own measurements, but indeed, it is not true or fact to be!

God, I'm so so so heartbroken looking of that! Please do strengthen me, guide me, teach me and carry me! I'm now so "more than exhausted"!!!

-Am I Who I Am? - Sad

My heart is empty
My mind is blank
My soul is lost
Am I really Who I Am ?
Do I recognize me myself?
Do you recognize who am I?

Can't even imagine what will happen next!
Because life is unpredictable
No one will knows
Is there a miracle or hope ?

Try be myself but can't
Try to be happy but fails
Try not to worry but keep on thinking
Try not to avoid but no choice
Try to overcome but it's pain and hurt
Try to give up but life still goes on no matter how
Try not to tears but it tears down naturally
Try to control but it is out of control
Try not to be the one but I'm force to
Try not to think but it's always on my mind
Try , try & try . . . . . . !

At last, what should be the answer of all these?

By PrinZeCalVin 2009
Searching the lost of me =(

-30 Days Of Exams- Horrible (Part A)

Week 1 ( 1 Sept 2009 - 7 Sept 2009) -Study Week

14 weeks of lectures and tutorials, assigns,presentations and midterms were pass! And here comes the final war - final exams,which the most horrible time where I struggle for my time and even my self-emotions . .

For this week, it was actually would be my study week, for me to do my revision, but instead of doing revision, I do nothing . .. just wait the time to pass through just like that . .. this week, all of the coursework marks had been listed out, it is just fair marks for me and this indeed has told me to work harder for my final exams.... Oh No . .. pressures added in again!

For this week, my first paper would be AV Copywriting which was on the 9/11/2009. For this paper,I do not have any idea in answering the questions and to do revision . . . in other words means, this subject depends on your creativity and critical thinking . . . all I can just do is to memorize the format . . . and this really kidding me, where I am person who just know to memorize things .... NO CREATIVITY , NO CRITICAL THINKING & NO INTELLIGENCE ..... how am I going to sit for this paper? I really don't know . . .

That's why, for the first week, I seems very free going here and there (yam cha-ing and playing around) and surfing here and there .. ... (facebook and blogging + msn-ing + you tube-ing) . . . many says that this subject had nothing to be studied, but indeed I still make my efforts to look for things to study ... at last, I studied something but ..... HAIZ , what's happen at the end?

After the my first paper, I was speechless and blank out .... where it seems like what I've studied really doesn't help much on it .... indeed, really need to scratch my head and burst up my mind and brain to think .... + in a hurry for time ... rushing to finish it in time ... this paper was really .... make me lost into out of no where !!!!!

I am really speechless and tired seeing this paper, it was really discouraging me ... EFFORTS = SUCCESS >> Is this true? I end up with nonsense on my answer sheets ... at last, it was done, but it is not what I want!

Nothing to say! I'm giving up to try for the next paper .... =(

WARNING . . .Don't ever follow my steps in facing final exams ! ! YOU'LL REGRET..

How I spend my first week of study week? Here my life goes with :

Blog . . blogging not often lo, but just for your updates about me!

Facebook Addiction! No cure . . already diagnose facebook virus
24 hours "can't leave without U" . . .

Station R . . this would be always my option, because there is a TV . . and the environment is good . . but the food and drinks is ok ok only !

ABC Mamak Stall . . . my Kampar midnight entertainment!

意难忘 Look Look . . . I get full attendance here (100%) rather than UTAR lecture classes and tutorial classes . . !

-Tearing "Hearts" - Can't Stop - Sad

Today, very early in the morning, I wrote this blog >>>> 6.30am.....

"My heart is tearing! ! ! drops by drops ..... Can you hear it?", says Calvin. It hurts and pain!!!
But, I won't being defeated, I will still go on with the promise "Don't worry, Be Happy"....

HOPE EVERYONE WILL HAPPY AND JOYFUL ALWAYS !!!
JIA YOU.....WE CAN DO IT! TRUST ME AND TRUST YOU YOURSELF...

-Bad Day- Sad

Today, 29th July 2009 (Wednesday), was my 2nd presentation of my Y2S1 which is the Communication Research Method. As today, I also have to face my midterm test for CRM which also contain 15% >>>> this make me more worse as I am running out of time to study for the midterm test (Lecture 1 until Lecture 8) where I have to prepare my power point slide, practice presentation and also prepare for another assignment which is the assignment 4 for movie poster.

Arghhhhhhhhhhh................ all things comes together..... and the dateline is today, it is quite difficult for me to manange , BUT, I believe that I can........ at last, I made it to finish all things and being well repared for my presentation and also manage to do revision for my midterm, although is not so complete .......

And I grab hold the believe that I have peace in God who gives me strength to really overcome all assignments and victory is within me...... As this, I never nervous before for each prsentations for this semester because I have peace and wisdom from God..........

As I finish my midterm that day during the morning class at 11am, I just thank God that my midterm test is not that hard nor easy but I manage to write something out, so I just trust God and my ability.. that I am able to score. Well, after that will be my presentation....

During the presentation, I am very confident in speaking to the public about what I am presenting because I really put much effort on it....... and this title "Love Life" campaign is a title that really touch my heart to do, so I just go for it until the end!!!!

So, who knows "What happen today?".... Haiz!!!!!

My computer technical problems reveals, and I took about 15 mins to deal with that "STUPID" mouse" ...... and this lead me to begin my presentation at 2.50pm... it supposed to be 2.30pm, but we came in late ...... Haiz............

BUT, this is not the things that discourage me because I know , this is just the beginning, I hvnt start my prsentation......>>>>> After my presentation, I thank God...... the first thing my tutor said to me are "Well, very good presentation", I appreciate it!!!! and "You are a very Good Speaker"...... I supposed to be glad to hear that.......... But, who knows what happens next????

She suddenly asked me a question " What the relevancy of this research to you????? ">>>>> then, I keep on answer her question calmy with rational facts and also define my reasons but for her, it seems not so logic, so it was a very discourage comment to me as I really make my effort to listen to each and every presenters' presentation and her comments towards them..... HAIZ!!!!!!!

At last, I also give thanks to God, that today other than that discourage comment, actually everything goes well, and basically this is a small matter, but I seems to be perfectionist, so the discouragement maybe seems to be hurt my mood on that moment.....

Lastly, the most happening scene is this, where today my presentation tooks 50 mins included technical problems....... it supposed to be 30 mins per individual, and this lead to one of my classmate have to rush her presentations in 10 mins time as the teacher requires her....
Actually, this is the most "Guilty, Sad, Discourage, " incidents that happens on me today........ "She" today scolded me for being presenting for about one hour long >>>> and she actually very angry about that and also very frustrated wanted to burst out.......... At this moment, I had nothing to say, really nothing to say............. because I am indeed make her lost of sufficient time to present................. REALLY, REALLY , REALLY VERY SORRY X100 !!!!!!!!!

-SOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORRRRRYYYYYYYYYYYY- I DID NOT MEAN TO DO THAT!!!!!

Until now, my life seems "TIRED" just like want to shout for a "STOP" and to have a long rest!!!!
"Life" is not easy, But to "Live" is far more not easy!!!! So, friends .... let your life live to the fullest ones, dont ever wasted your life just like that, go ahead do whatever meaningful you can!!!!!

Finally, I still come to the principle of "Leave it, Let go AND Let God!!!!" together with "Don't worry, Be Happy!!!" ..........>>>>>>> So, dun worry about me, I am not that weak,here just to tell you that I will not fall because of this, instead I still believe I can achieve good results in my both CRM midterm and presentation......... I, Calvin will wait for the "MIRACLES TO HAPPEN">>>>>>>>>> it is coming forth!!!!!

Here, just to encourage all my friends,juniors, seniors, brothers and sisters, continue

"JIA YOU"..... FOR EACH AND EVERY FAILURE IS NOT AN END TO YOU, BUT IS A NEW START TO THE STEPS OF SUCCESS!!!!!! >>>>>

Calvin here, support you and if you needed my help, here I am if I can..........GAMBATE:P !!!!!